Have you ever found yourself unjustly shouldering the blame for the actions of your coercive controller? Victim-blaming is a pervasive issue, particularly in cases involving coercive control. Unveiling the invisible nature of coercive control is crucial to understanding this phenomenon. Despite its prevalence, coercive control remains unnoticed in plain sight. Imagine a scenario where evidence […]
Coercive control laws are being proposed and passed around the world. Laws that define coercive and controlling behaviors began in the UK, and Australia, Scotland, Canada and the US are taking steps to address coercive control in criminal and/or civil legislation. But coercive control legislation is moving slowly, and I believe one big reason for that is not that we haven't defined […]
This blog is a shout out to my colleague Elle Kamihira for her podcast Subject to Power and the terrific interview she conducted with Riane Eisler, titled Systems of Peace. As I continue to develop my Quicksand Model™ of Coercive Control I often come across new, and not so new, research and theories that are compatible and useful enhancements to my model. […]
Gaslighting is the term used for harming a person through manipulation and deception in order to make them believe they are going crazy. Webster defines it as: "psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or […]
If you have been targeted by a coercive controller, and you've done enough research to know that coercive control is the problem you are dealing with, then you probably already know how difficult it can be to explain to professionals what coercive control looks and feels like. Coercive control is a complex and nuanced form […]
NOTE: I will refer to the other person in the "relationship" as the "partner" for this post. I do so to avoid assuming that you are entangled with a coercive controller. If/when you determine that is the case, the words "relationship" and "partner" no longer apply. Coercively controlling abusers are not partners, nor is the situation […]
I've covered Double Speak before, but today I'd like to go into this tactic, commonly used by coercive controllers, in a bit more depth. Double Speak is the Quicksand Model™'s term for the numerous ways that coercive controllers use language to manipulate and deceive others into viewing reality through their distorted lens. Coercive controllers perceive the world, and people […]
If you need an expert in coercive control for your case, you can book a free consult with me here. If you need a coercive control trainer, speaker or consultant to help transform your organization to better serve victims, you can book a consultation here.
BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™ is the term I coined for the victim's experience of coercive control. Coercive control is damaging to our bodies, our brains, our minds and our relationships, and therefore, has negative biological, psychological and social impacts on the target. These negative impacts can become overwhelming, often leaving the target feeling like they are suffocating and […]
As I work with more and more clients who have suffered the devastating impacts of coercive control in their "relationships" I have discovered two more doubles that coercive controllers rely upon to prevent their target's escape from BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™. I have termed them the Double Cross and the Double Team. Today I will cover the Double […]
