Gaslighting is the term used for harming a person through manipulation and deception in order to make them believe they are going crazy.  Webster defines it as: "psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or […]

If you have been targeted by a coercive controller, and you've done enough research to know that coercive control is the problem you are dealing with, then you probably already know how difficult it can be to explain to professionals what coercive control looks and feels like. Coercive control is a complex and nuanced form […]

NOTE: I will refer to the other person in the "relationship" as the "partner" for this post. I do so to avoid assuming that you are entangled with a coercive controller. If/when you determine that is the case, the words "relationship" and "partner" no longer apply. Coercively controlling abusers are not partners, nor is the situation […]

I've covered Double Speak before, but today I'd like to go into this tactic, commonly used by coercive controllers, in a bit more depth.  Double Speak is the Quicksand Model™'s term for the numerous ways that coercive controllers use language to manipulate and deceive others into viewing reality through their distorted lens. Coercive controllers perceive the world, and people […]

If you need an expert in coercive control for your case, you can book a free consult with me here. If you need a coercive control trainer, speaker or consultant to help transform your organization to better serve victims, you can book a consultation here.

BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™ is the term I coined for the victim's experience of coercive control. Coercive control is damaging to our bodies, our brains, our minds and our relationships, and therefore, has negative biological, psychological and social impacts on the target. These negative impacts can become overwhelming, often leaving the target feeling like they are suffocating and […]

As I work with more and more clients who have suffered the devastating impacts of coercive control in their "relationships" I have discovered two more doubles that coercive controllers rely upon to prevent their target's escape from BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™. I have termed them the Double Cross and the Double Team. Today I will cover the Double […]

UPDATE: June 30, 2024 / The BioPsychoSocial Quicksand Model™ is still based on psychological, social and biological aspects of coercive control, but the name has now been shortened to The Quicksand Model™ As I continue research and consultation with other experts in the fields of coercive control within domestic abuse, cults, extremist groups, human trafficking, gangs, trauma, betrayal trauma and coercive violence, I continually […]

The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness caused by coercive control can be overwhelming, anxiety, terror, and depression-inducing, and often result in PTSD or CPTSD.  Coercive control can also be life-threatening and life-altering.  I have known for a long time that coercive control creates suicidal ideation, because I have experienced it myself many times. Every survivor […]

UPDATE: June 30, 2024 / The PsychoSocial Quicksand Model™ is still based on psychological, social and biological aspects of coercive control, but the name has now been shortened to The Quicksand Model™ The terms victim and target will be used interchangeably to indicate that victims are not to blame, and are most often directly targeted by coercive […]