As a researcher and consultant specializing in coercive control patterns, this week's exposure of Signal messages regarding Yemen bombing plans presents a textbook case of systemic coercive control tactics. Through the lens of The Quicksand Model®, we can clearly identify three distinct tactics being used in combination: Double Speak, Double Down, and Double Standards. Let's examine how these tactics mirror the same manipulative behaviors we observe in interpersonal coercive control situations.
Double Speak: The Art of Deceptive Communication
The White House's response to The Atlantic's exposure of sensitive military communications exemplifies classic Double Speak - language designed to obscure truth and avoid responsibility.
When confronted with evidence of detailed operational plans shared via Signal, including specific information about F-18 fighter jets, MQ-9 drones, and Tomahawk missiles, officials employed carefully crafted language to minimize and distort the reality of the situation.
The messages shared in the "Houthi PC Small Group" chat contained explicit details about warplane launches and bomb drops.
Yet, the administration's response demonstrated the hallmark manipulation tactic of Double Speak, weaponizing communication to reframe reality - a classic element of coercive control where perpetrators attempt to gaslight their targets by denying obvious truths.
Double Down: Amplifying Denial in the Face of Evidence
When confronted with evidence, both Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump exhibited another classic coercive control tactic: doubling down on denial. Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense, repeatedly insisted that "NO WAR PLANS" were shared, despite documented evidence to the contrary. President Trump similarly supported this narrative, maintaining that critics were exaggerating the situation.
This pattern of doubling down mirrors what we observe in The Quicksand Model® of coercive control, where perpetrators intensify their denials when confronted with evidence of their actions. The more evidence emerges, the more forcefully they deny, creating a psychological quicksand that pulls victims deeper into confusion, cognitive dissonance, and self-doubt.
Double Standards: The Hypocrisy of Selective Outrage
Perhaps the most striking parallel to coercive control dynamics is the blatant double standard displayed in this situation. The same Republican figures who led chants of "Lock her up" regarding Hillary Clinton's email server have suddenly adopted a remarkably different stance when their own handling of sensitive information comes under scrutiny.
During the Clinton email controversy, Republicans, including Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth, argued that any security professional would face severe consequences for similar conduct. Yet, when confronted with their own sharing of military operational details through a public messaging app, they've dismissed concerns and minimized the potential security implications.
The Quicksand Model® Connection
These three D's - Double Speak, Double Down, and Double Standards - form a powerful triumvirate of coercive control tactics that we've documented extensively in The Quicksand Model®. As outlined in our recent publication "Targeted & Entrapped: Understanding the Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control," these tactics are used to entrap and dominate not just individuals, but entire institutions and public discourse.
The Yemen Signal messages scandal demonstrates how systemic coercive control operates at the highest levels of government, using the same tactics we observe in interpersonal abuse. The administration's response employs Force (through aggressive denial), Fraud (through deceptive language), and Fear (through attempts to intimidate critics) - the three F's, or methods, of coercive control.
Conclusion
This incident serves as a powerful reminder that coercive control tactics don't just operate at in abusive "relationships" - they can be deployed by institutions and power structures to manipulate public perception and avoid accountability. By understanding and identifying these patterns through frameworks like The Quicksand Model®, we can better resist their impact and work toward creating systems of true accountability and transparency.
The parallels between individual coercive control and institutional manipulation are stark and concerning. As we continue our work at End Coercive Control USA, cases like this provide crucial evidence of how coercive control tactics can scale from personal relationships to national security issues, affecting millions of lives in the process.
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NOTE: Leaving a coercive controller can be very dangerous, so it's important to seek help before doing so. Numerous resources are available on ECCUSA's resource page to assist you.
In the intricate dance of power dynamics, whether in personal relationships or the political arena, the patterns of coercive control often lurk beneath the surface of the quicksand, invisible to the untrained eye. Today, we delve into a pressing issue that exemplifies how the tactics of coercive controllers can manifest in the highest echelons of government: the recent continuing resolution situation. By examining this through the lens of The Quicksand Model®, we aim to shed light on the parallels between coercive control within domestic abuse and political abuses of power, revealing the insidious nature of how coercive control functions in our society.
The Quicksand Model®: A Framework for Understanding
The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control is a comprehensive educational tool designed to make the often invisible patterns of coercive control visible. It synthesizes 70 years of research and theory across various fields, including domestic abuse, human trafficking, cults, and extremism, to educate professionals on detecting and preventing coercive control. This model is particularly effective in overcoming professional and societal biases that hinder the protection of victims and the accountability of coercive controllers.
In the context of political power dynamics, The Quicksand Model® can be applied to understand how coercive control tactics are used by political entities to deceive, manipulate, and maintain power. The model's focus on making invisible coercive control tactics and strategies visible is crucial in political settings where abuses of power are often exerted through subtle and manipulative means.
The Double Bind of the Continuing Resolution
The recent continuing resolution (CR) situation in U.S. politics provides a stark example of how coercive control tactics can be employed on a grand scale. The House Appropriations Committee released the Full-Year Continuing Appropriations and Extensions Act, 2025, on March 8, 2025, setting in motion a series of events that would culminate in a classic double bind scenario.
The Setup (aka The Double Cross): Creating a No-Win Situation (aka The Double Bind)
The Republican-led House pushed the continuing resolution as a straightforward solution to avoid a government shutdown, emphasizing defense spending increases and maintaining essential services without raising taxes. However, this framing created a double bind for Democrats and the public:
The impossible choice, or as Janja Lalich might call it, the "bounded choice," and what Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez called a "false choice", presented to democrats was:
- Support the bill and accept its provisions, potentially allowing for misuse of funds, continued constitutional violations, and cuts to non-defense spending.
- Oppose the bill and risk being blamed for a government shutdown, which could have severe consequences for millions of Americans.
This situation mirrors the tactics used by coercive controllers in relationships, where victims are often presented with choices that have negative outcomes regardless of their decision. The Quicksand Model® helps us recognize this pattern, showing how political entities can entrap people in the quicksand of coercive control similar to in abusive relationships.
Double Speak: The Language of Manipulation
Double speak, the weaponization of language and communication that deliberately obscures, disguises, distorts, or reverses the meaning of words, and is a common tool used by coercive controllers in relationships and politics.
In the context of the continuing resolution, we see this tactic employed through:
- Framing the CR as a "clean funding extension": This language obscures the potential consequences of the bill's provisions and the lack of input from opposition parties.
- Emphasizing "government functionality" over specific funding directives: This rhetoric masks the potential for misuse of funds and the sidelining of important social programs.
The use of double speak in this situation aligns with the patterns identified in The Quicksand Model®, where coercive controllers use language to confuse, disorient, and control their targeted victims. By recognizing these linguistic patterns and signs of coercive control, we can better understand and resist coercive control in both personal and political contexts.
DARVO: As a Political Strategy
DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) is a manipulative strategy often used by coercive controllers to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. In the political arena, we see this strategy employed in the following ways:
- Deny: Republican leadership denied any wrongdoing in the process of crafting the CR, despite concerns about lack of bipartisan input.
- Attack: Critics of the bill were attacked and accused of being willing to shut down the government, shifting focus away from the bill's contents.
- Reverse Victim and Offender: By framing Democrats as obstructionists, the Republican leadership positioned themselves as victims of unreasonable opposition, rather than acknowledging the legitimate concerns raised.
This use of DARVO in political contexts mirrors its application in abusive relationships, where it serves to manipulate perceptions and maintain control. The Quicksand Model® helps us identify these strategies and tactics, empowering us to challenge such coercively controlling behaviors effectively.
Breaking Free from the Quicksand
Understanding the parallels between coercive control in relationships and political manipulation is crucial for fostering a healthier democracy. The Quicksand Model® provides a framework for recognizing these patterns and developing strategies to counter them. By educating ourselves and others about these tactics of coercive control, we can work towards systemic change that promotes transparency, accountability, and genuine collaboration in our political processes.
As we navigate the complex landscape of modern politics, let us remain vigilant against the subtle forms of coercive control that can erode our democratic institutions. By shining a light on these tactics, we take the first step towards breaking free from the quicksand of coercive control and building a more equitable and just society.
Remember, recognizing these patterns is not about partisan politics, but about understanding and challenging the abuse of power wherever it occurs. By applying the insights from The Quicksand Model® to our analysis of political events, we can foster a more informed and resilient citizenry, capable of holding our leaders accountable and promoting genuine democratic dialogue.
In the face of coercive control, whether in personal relationships or the political sphere, knowledge and awareness are our most powerful tools. Let us use them wisely to create a world where coercion and control have no place, and where true democracy can flourish.
As Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of End Coercive Control USA (ECCUSA), I am deeply concerned about the recent viral video depicting a woman being forcefully removed from a town hall meeting. This disturbing incident serves as a unique systemic example of the insidious tactic known as DARVO.
DARVO, one of the coercive controller's weapons in The Quicksand Model, stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It's a strategy we often see in cases of domestic violence and sexual assault, where individual perpetrators use it to avoid accountability for their actions. But increasingly, we're seeing DARVO used on a systemic level to silence and punish folks who dare to speak out against oppressive systems, resulting in institutional betrayal perpetrated against the targeted victim, and confusion and distress for bystanders observing the phenomenon.
DARVO in Action
In the video, we see a woman (later identified as Dr. Teresa Borrenpohl) attempting to voice her valid concerns about the devastating impact of anti-abortion policies on the health and lives of women. Rather than engaging with her point and respecting her right to freedom of speech, the men (the coercive controllers) who remove her deny both her valid point and her right to express it. They then go on to physically attack her, and position themselves - the people advocating for human rights violations - as the victims.
Instead of being listened to and engaged with respectfully, Teresa is met with a forceful response from a group of men who feel entitled to silence her. Led by a law enforcement officer, whose presence unfairly legitimizes this attack, she is violently silenced and punished for daring to voice her opinion. All the while the speaker on stage also uses DARVO to frame the men's violence against the woman as "consequences," and mocks her, calling her a "little girl." Using both the strategy of DARVO and the deceptive coercive control tactic of Double Speak, the speaker abuses his authority as a scheduled speaker, amplified via microphone, to justify the men's illegal actions.
This is a classic DARVO maneuver - the men, who are the true perpetrators in this situation, Deny the harm they are causing, Attack her physically and humiliate her socially, all while Reversing Victim and Offender, positioning themselves as the victims.
Exposing Unlawful DARVO Tactics in the Viral Town Hall Incident
Although initially the group of men appear to have legitimate authority, upon closer inspection, it appears the people who aggressively removed Dr. Teresa Borrenpohl from the town hall meeting were not official authorities, but rather private security acting without proper legal standing. The individuals who forcefully removed her were not visibly identified as official security officers or other legitimate authorities. When asked who they were, they refused to identify themselves. This makes their actions even more egregious - they are not only engaging in the classic DARVO tactic, but they are doing so while operating outside the law.
By denying the woman's point and her right to speak, attacking her physically, and then positioning themselves as the rightful enforcers, these individuals are perpetrating an unlawful abuse of power. They are not acting on behalf of the public good or in service of democratic principles, but rather are attempting to silence a dissenting voice through force and manipulation.
This is an extremely concerning development, as it suggests DARVO tactics are being deployed not just by individual perpetrators, but also in concert with those in positions of authority and by anyone seeking to exert control and avoid accountability. It's a disturbing escalation occurring with increasing regularity politically that we at ECCUSA find deeply troubling.
The Devastating Impact of DARVO
DARVO is a well-documented strategy used by abusers and manipulators to shift the narrative while simultaneously punishing their targeted victim. By denying the woman's right to speak, attacking her physically, and then reversing the roles of victim and offender, the men in this situation, not only silence the woman's voice but also send a chilling message to others who might seek to exercise their right to participate in the democratic process... ironic coming from the party who so fervently touts "free speech."
The Importance of Recognizing and Challenging DARVO
As an organization dedicated to ending coercive control, at ECCUSA we recognize the urgent need to expose and challenge DARVO whenever it occurs. This viral incident serves as a stark reminder of the insidious nature of this strategy and the devastating impact it can have on individuals and communities.
Call to Action
I call upon all citizens to be vigilant in recognizing and speaking out against DARVO whenever it occurs. By shining a light on this manipulative behavior and holding those who engage in it accountable, we can take a stand against the silencing of marginalized voices and the erosion of our democratic values.
Together, we can create a society where every individual is treated with dignity, heard, and empowered to participate fully in the democratic process.
ECCUSA encourages donations to Dr. Teresa Borrenpohl's Go Fund Me Page to defend her against charges filed following this coercively controlling abuse of power.
NOTE: Leaving a coercive controller can be very dangerous, so it's important to seek help before doing so. Numerous resources are available on ECCUSA's resource page to assist you.