Author: Kate Amber, MSc

My name is Kate Amber MSc. I hold a master's degree in the psychology of coercive control from the University of Salford and a post-graduate certification in violence and abuse prevention executive leadership from the University of Pennsylvania. My lived expertise in coercive control includes surviving domestic abuse, a cult-like group, and multiple coercively controlling systems. and relationships Through decades of lived experience and years of post-graduate study in trauma, undue influence, brainwashing, narcissistic abuse & coercive control, I conduct research & and develop coercive control training programs, like The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control, to facilitate #SystemicTransformation.

The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control & Double Team

BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™ is the term I coined for the victim’s experience of coercive control. Coercive control is damaging to our bodies, our brains, our minds and our relationships, and therefore, has negative biological, psychological and social impacts on the target. These negative impacts can become overwhelming, often leaving the target feeling like they are suffocating and […]

The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control & the Two New Doubles

As I work with more and more clients who have suffered the devastating impacts of coercive control in their “relationships” I have discovered two more doubles that coercive controllers rely upon to prevent their target’s escape from BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™. I have termed them the Double Cross and the Double Team. Today I will cover the Double […]

The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control a BioPsychoSocial Model

UPDATE: June 30, 2024 / The BioPsychoSocial Quicksand Model® is still based on psychological, social and biological aspects of coercive control, but the name has now been shortened to The Quicksand Model® As I continue research and consultation with other experts in the fields of coercive control within domestic abuse, cults, extremist groups, human trafficking, gangs, trauma, betrayal trauma and coercive violence, I continually […]

Landmark Coercive Control Suicide Case

The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness caused by coercive control can be overwhelming, anxiety, terror, and depression-inducing, and often result in PTSD or CPTSD. Coercive control can also be life-threatening and life-altering. I have known for a long time that coercive control creates suicidal ideation, because I have experienced it myself many times. Every survivor […]

The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control: The Mirage

UPDATE: June 30, 2024 / The PsychoSocial Quicksand Model® is still based on psychological, social and biological aspects of coercive control, but the name has now been shortened to The Quicksand Model® The terms victim and target will be used interchangeably to indicate that victims are not to blame, and are most often directly targeted by coercive […]

Parental Alienation Syndrome: Why I don’t recommend you call it that

NOTE: This blog is written primarily for victimized mothers of coercive control. The statements within are not intended to imply that mothers are never abusive or coercively controlling, or that fathers are never victimized. Some are. However, the majority of coercive control within families is perpetrated by males against adult females and children, so this […]

Coercive Control and Parental Alienation are NOT the same!

If you are a protective parent attempting to navigate the family court system in the US (or any other country), you have probably run into the problematic use of the terms Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Alienation and Alienation… all of which refer to the same phenomenon. (Read my prior blog on Parental Alienation here, if you are […]

Complex Traumatic Stress Injury vs PTSD and CPTSD

A large majority of targeted victims of coercive control have, or will, develop symptoms of, or full-blown, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). In my opinion, based on the research I’ve reviewed and the clients I have worked with, if you are targeted by a coercive controller, unless you are able to effectively escape their PsychoSocial Quicksand™ early […]

Coercive Control, DARVO & Parental Alienation Syndrome

As I have discussed before in previous blog posts, DARVO is perhaps the most effective and often used strategy of coercive controllers. And of the possible uses of DARVO, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) or Parental Alienation (PA) is arguably the most commonly used DARVO strategy of coercive controllers in family court. PAS is a theory […]

#DoubleSpeak: Double Speak & Coercive Control

So far I have covered the first three of the 5 Doubles in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model of #Coercive Control, #DoubleStandards, #DoubleBinds and #DoubleThink. The fourth Double is #DoubleSpeak. #DoubleSpeak, thank goodness, is easier to grasp than #DoubleThink. I covered #DoubleThink first, because it is the driving force behind #DoubleSpeak. What the coercive controller thinks in their mind becomes apparent in their words and […]