The Quicksand Model®: Why Abuse and Violence Need a New Framework
Coercive control is the fire. Physical violence is the alarm. We have built entire systems around detecting the alarm while the fire burns across intimate partner abuse, child abuse, human trafficking, gang violence, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse. It is time we learned to respond to both.
When the Mirage Is Revealed: Trump, DARVO, and the Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control
As an expert in coercive control and the creator of The Quicksand Model®, I’ve spent years teaching professionals and survivors alike how to recognize the patterns of domination, gaslighting, and narrative manipulation that define coercive and controlling abusive power. This week, the US political landscape has provided a stark, public demonstration of these dynamics—on a […]
The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control: Reflections on the Assassination of Charlie Kirk
Kate Amber, MSc Posted on: September 17, 2025 The recent assassination of Charlie Kirk has sent shockwaves through the nation, not only for the tragic loss of life but also for the disturbing patterns of coercive control that have emerged in the aftermath. As the founder of The Quicksand Model® and a lifelong supporter of ending coercive […]
Targeted & Entrapped: Understanding the Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control
Introduction to The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control, developed by (me) Kate Amber and utilized by End Coercive Control USA, is a survivor-centered, trauma-informed framework that explains the layered tactics and strategies coercive controllers use to entrap and dominate their targeted victims. This model categorizes coercive control tactics and […]
Coercive Control and Self-Doubt: Am I the Problem?
Have you ever wondered if your partner or ex-partner was right about you being the abusive one? The question “Am I the problem?” can haunt those of us with empathy, those of us who are introspective about our behavior and our impact on others, especially the person we married and/or hoped to build a life […]
The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control: The Mirage
UPDATE: June 30, 2024 / The PsychoSocial Quicksand Model® is still based on psychological, social and biological aspects of coercive control, but the name has now been shortened to The Quicksand Model® The terms victim and target will be used interchangeably to indicate that victims are not to blame, and are most often directly targeted by coercive […]
Parental Alienation Syndrome: Why I don’t recommend you call it that
NOTE: This blog is written primarily for victimized mothers of coercive control. The statements within are not intended to imply that mothers are never abusive or coercively controlling, or that fathers are never victimized. Some are. However, the majority of coercive control within families is perpetrated by males against adult females and children, so this […]
Coercive Control and Parental Alienation are NOT the same!
If you are a protective parent attempting to navigate the family court system in the US (or any other country), you have probably run into the problematic use of the terms Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Alienation and Alienation… all of which refer to the same phenomenon. (Read my prior blog on Parental Alienation here, if you are […]
Coercive Control, DARVO & Parental Alienation Syndrome
As I have discussed before in previous blog posts, DARVO is perhaps the most effective and often used strategy of coercive controllers. And of the possible uses of DARVO, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) or Parental Alienation (PA) is arguably the most commonly used DARVO strategy of coercive controllers in family court. PAS is a theory […]
Parental Alienation, Abuse by Proxy & Parent Child Relationship Sabatoge
UPDATE: NOVEMBER 2, 2023: New research published October 2023 has established a new term for interfering in the relationship between a mother and child. It has been termed Child And Mother Sabotage (CAMS), and pertains to coercive and controlling behaviors by a father against his child and the mother of his child. THIS is the term […]