TRANSFORMING SYSTEMS BY MAKING COERCIVE CONTROL VISIBLE
End Coercive Control Blog
Exploring the Quicksand Model® and More:
Insights from the End Coercive Control USA Blog
Dive into the End Coercive Control USA Blog to explore the groundbreaking Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control and gain valuable insights into the patterns and impacts of coercive control and domestic abuse. This blog serves as a vital resource for survivors, advocates, and professionals, offering in-depth articles, expert perspectives, and actionable strategies to combat coercive control. From understanding the intricacies of the Quicksand Model® to uncovering tools for education and prevention, the blog provides knowledge to empower individuals and inspire change.
Partnership Systems vs Domination Systems & Coercive Control
This blog is a shout out to my colleague Elle Kamihira for her podcast Subject to Power and the terrific interview she conducted with Riane Eisler, titled Systems of Peace. As I continue to develop my Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control I often come across new, and not so new, research and theories that are compatible and useful enhancements to my model. Riane Eisler’s work on partnership systems and domination systems definitely fits that bill. “Riane Eisler is a social systems scientist, cultural historian, futurist, and attorney whose research, writing, and speaking has transformed the lives of people worldwide.” Just like the Quicksand Model®, the partnership domination continuum is a systems-based approach to transformation (which can be especially important when addressing things like domestic abuse and coercive control). I have a deep appreciation for this model!
#Gaslighting – Webster’s Word of the Year for 2022!
Gaslighting is the term used for harming a person through manipulation and deception in order to make them believe they are going crazy. Webster defines it as: “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator” 2022 has revealed many examples of gaslighting in the media, politics, in family court and in criminal court. Gaslighting is often the foundation upon which a pattern of coercive control is established. Gaslighting is designed to make a person doubt themselves, and the victim’s doubt that
Do I need a Coercive Control Expert Witness? (Part One)
If you have been targeted by a coercive controller, and you’ve done enough research to know that coercive control is the problem you are dealing with, then you probably already know how difficult it can be to explain to professionals what coercive control looks and feels like. Coercive control is a complex and nuanced form of abuse that is invisible in plain sight. It is insidious in it’s subtle forms, and utterly terrifying when it escalates to forms that can include physical violence, sexual violence and/or veiled (or not so veiled) threats that leave you terrified of what the coercive controller may be capable of. In the hands of its most savvy practitioners, coercive control is intimate terrorism and pure torture! I don’t throw words
Coercive Control and Self-Doubt: Am I the Problem?
Have you ever wondered if your partner or ex-partner was right about you being the abusive one? The question “Am I the problem?” can haunt those of us with empathy, those of us who are introspective about our behavior and our impact on others, especially the person we married and/or hoped to build a life with. In this blog post I offer some basic questions to ask yourself and some general characteristics of coercive controllers and the pattern of coercive control, to shed light on what is happening, and who is, in fact, responsible. Critical Truths About Coercive Control The vast majority of coercive controllers know exactly what they are doing. Coercive control is a pattern of behavior designed to establish and maintain domination and
Coercive Control & Double Speak
I’ve covered Double Speak before, but today I’d like to go into this tactic, commonly used by coercive controllers, in a bit more depth. Double Speak is the Quicksand Model®’s term for the numerous ways that coercive controllers use language to manipulate and deceive others into viewing reality through their distorted lens. Coercive controllers perceive the world, and people in it, through their own unique combination of ideologies, myths, misconceptions, assumptions and biases. Here are some examples: The biases and assumptions coercive controllers view the world through are like colored glasses that distort their ability to see reality clearly. Take, for example, gender biases (this post will cover gender biases exclusively, however, this is only one type of bias that coercive controllers may exploit). A coercive controller who believes
Coercive Control & Parental Alienation Awareness Video
If you need an expert in coercive control for your case, you can book a free consult with me here. If you need a coercive control trainer, speaker or consultant to help transform your organization to better serve victims, you can book a consultation here.
The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control & Double Team
BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™ is the term I coined for the victim’s experience of coercive control. Coercive control is damaging to our bodies, our brains, our minds and our relationships, and therefore, has negative biological, psychological and social impacts on the target. These negative impacts can become overwhelming, often leaving the target feeling like they are suffocating and drowning in inescapable quicksand. In this blog I am revealing another Double in the BPQSM™, the Double Team (#DoubleTeam). Maybe you’ve never heard of the Double Team before, but if you have read much about narcissistic abuse, psychopathic abuse, narcissism, psychopathy or coercive control, I bet you have heard the term flying monkeys. The use of flying monkeys by a narcissistic coercive controller is a particularly alarming and painful aspect of being entrapped in BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™. It is
The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control & the Two New Doubles
As I work with more and more clients who have suffered the devastating impacts of coercive control in their “relationships” I have discovered two more doubles that coercive controllers rely upon to prevent their target’s escape from BioPsychoSocial Quicksand™. I have termed them the Double Cross and the Double Team. Today I will cover the Double Cross and in an upcoming blog, I’ll delve into the Double Team. What many people still do not understand is that coercive controllers are, for the most part, fully aware and intentional in their use of coercive control tactics and strategies (an exception is the coercive controller who is experiencing psychosis). Professionals who run batterer intervention programs have known this for decades, because these pros have heard first hand the excuses that coercive