So far I have covered the first two of the 5 Doubles in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model of #Coercive Control, #DoubleStandards and #DoubleBinds. The third Double is #DoubleThink.
#DoubleThink is a bit harder to wrap your head around, probably because it is contradictory and confusing by its very nature. #DoubleThink is a type of conscious self-deception. The term #DoubleThink was coined by George Orwell in his novel Nineteen Eighty Four. Here's a quote from the book.
"To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to believe that democracy was impossible and that the Party was the guardian of democracy, to forget whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself—that was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word—doublethink—involved the use of doublethink."
Confusing... right? Well, guess what? Confusion is often the point!
I am going to say that again, because it is critical to understanding the use of coercive control tactics. Confusion IS the point!
Coercive controllers know that shock and confusion can dismantle their prey's ability to think critically, at least momentarily. If stress becomes chronic it can even damage the structures of the brain. Here is a quote from a journal article detailing the impact of stress on pre-frontal cortex functioning.
"Even quite mild acute uncontrollable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities, and more prolonged stress exposure causes architectural changes in prefrontal dendrites (Amy Arnsten, 2020)."
Shock and confusion (which are stressful and even traumatic) reduce critical thinking by activating the fight, flight or freeze part of the brain (the amygdala). This gives coercive controllers the upper hand while their prey's pre-frontal cortex is offline. Coercive controllers often make up bizarre and outlandish lies to cover their tracks... the more unbelievable, the more shocking, the more their lies are often believed, because the person hearing the lies is unable to access their critical thinking. The coercive controller then uses the negative impact on their prey's fight/flight system as "evidence" that there is something wrong with the targeted victim, and therefore, the victim must be to blame.
Here is a video by Richard Grannon presenting the strategic manipulative thinking of narcissistic coercive controllers and how they use strategic #DoubleThink to control and punish their target while still believing and maintaining that they are a good person.
A fabulous book on fast and slow thinking systems, another way coercive control bypasses cognitive defenses, is called Thinking Fast & Slow by Daniel Kahneman.
Coercive controllers create confusion and chaos for those they wish to dominate, while #DoubleThink prevents them from feeling the guilt and shame that might arise if they were burdened by the awareness that they are doing so. #DoubleThink allows coercive controllers to remain innocent in their own minds (self-deception), by carefully forgetting that it was their actions that led to the destruction they are complaining about. #DoubleThink is a strategic combination of denial and lying.
It's difficult to present examples of #DoubleThink. Because #DoubleThink occurs in the mind of the coercive controller, it cannot be observed from the outside. However, there are narcissists and sociopaths online who discuss their thinking openly, including their #DoubleThink. Sam Vaknin and Ask A Psychopath's YouTube channels include some examples of their distorted thinking, including some which would qualify as #DoubleThink.
Psychopaths may not use #DoubleThink. Since they completely lack empathy, they probably don't feel the need to lie to themselves. Narcissists, on the other hand, rely heavily on #DoubleThink in order to survive in the world. Narcissists come in two basic varieties, the grandiose narcissist and the covert narcissist (also called the victim narcissist or the vulnerable narcissist). Both types use #DoubleThink. Grandiose narcissists use #DoubleThink when the world provides evidence that conflicts with their belief of being fabulous, gorgeous, brilliant etc. The covert narcissist uses #DoubleThink to "forget" that they create their own "victimization".
A grandiose narcissist is usually more direct with their coercive control, whereas a covert narcissist is typically more manipulative and deceptive. Both types of narcissists use coercive control to get their way and to paint themselves as innocent, and both use #DoubleThink to deceive themselves. However, they tend to rely on different tactics to "know and not know". Grandiose narcissists are often more aggressive, where covert narcissists are often more passive aggressive or covertly aggressive.
A grandiose narcissist focuses their energy on being successful, beautiful, brilliant etc. in the world, while a covert narcissist is more of a parasite, exploiting others and then claiming their victims are victimizing them. While a grandiose narcissist may use #DARVO to avoid accountability for something awful they have done to someone, a covert narcissist's entire focus in life is to collect evidence that they are the victim of a cruel world. Therefore, #DARVO rules the covert narcissist's entire life. He doesn't use #DARVO just to get out of trouble, he knowingly and strategically arranges complex scenarios to entrap his prey, and then when he has successfully convinced others that his victim is the perpetrator, he uses #DoubleThink to forget it was he who actually set the whole thing up.
Only through #DoubleThink, which carefully maintains the covert narcissists' false reality, is the victim narcissist able to protect his fragile underdeveloped ego from the reality that the only thing he has to show for his life is a trail of destruction in his wake. He may be a victim... but not a victim of another person, he is a victim of his own #DoubleThink.
Here's a great article showing that abusers know they receive benefits by being violent and abusive. They know, but they don't know (#DoubleThink), that they opt for these benefits over changing their negative behaviors. They use #DoubleThink to pretend the benefits don't exist, and they are so good at this strategic self-deception, and so convincing to outsiders, that they are often able to avoid accountability.
#DoubleThink is the engine that feeds the fourth Double of the PsychoSocial Quicksand Model™ of Coercive Control, #DoubleSpeak. #DoubleSpeak is easier to understand and detect than #DoubleThink, because it occurs in communication, rather than inside the mind of the coercive controller. I will cover #DoubleSpeak in the next blog.
Stay tuned...
