Coercive Control Escalates to Murder of Family

Kate Amber, MSc in . Posted on: January 6, 2023
TRIGGER WARNING: If you have been victimized by domestic violence, domestic abuse, coercive control or other type of abuse, please use caution while reading ECCUSA's blog. If you need support, The Domestic Violence Hotline is FREE in the United States @ 1-800-799-7233 or chat with them HERE.
By: Kate Amber, MSc

#CoerciveControl is said to be #InvisibleInPlainSight. The murders of these family members makes this fact crystal clear. As tightly knit as this community is, it appears that the #CoerciveController was not suspected to be abusive, let alone homicidal. 

The mother of the murdered children had filed for divorce. 

Separation/Divorce is the most dangerous time for victims of #DomesticAbuse, #DomesticViolence and coercive control. #CoerciveControlExperts know the signs of escalating coercive control. The person who sent police to check on the mother must have understood what might be happening. Yet the murders were not prevented. Why? Because our system is currently designed to protect the perpetrators and not the victims. #VictimBlaming is rampant worldwide. We need #SystemicTransformation to fill the enormous gaps in the systems that are failing to protect victims. We need to address the attitudes that are keeping abuse in place and helping abusers justify coercive and controlling behaviors. We need to learn the #8stagesofhomicide, and put policies and practices in place worldwide to intervene, before coercive control escalates to stage 8.

Victims are drowning in #PsychoSocialQuicksand, not only because of the coercive controller's actions, but because of the failure of systems to recognize the coercive control, believe the victims, and protect them from escalating abuses of power.  

Please stop emboldening coercively controlling abusers! Please stop protecting them from consequences! Please stop enabling them to continue creating chaos, and destroying innocent lives.

About the Author

Kate Amber, MSc, is dedicated to ending coercive control and promoting healthy relationships. Her work with End Coercive Control USA focuses on providing insights and support for those striving to create compassionate and respectful connections.

The Quicksand Model™ Training Programs are available for schools, groups, religious organizations, non-profits, businesses, government etc.

Free Consultations: coercive control expert witness & coercive control consulting for survivors

Free Consultations: coercive control speaker, trainer, consultant or expert witness for organizations, companies & systems

Nothing in this blog is intended to diagnose or treat. It is for informational purposes only.

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter
Follow Us on Social Media
End Coercive Control USA © 2025 / All Right Reserved.
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram