So far I have covered the first three of the 5 Doubles in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model of #Coercive Control, #DoubleStandards, #DoubleBinds and #DoubleThink. The fourth Double is #DoubleSpeak.
#DoubleSpeak, thank goodness, is easier to grasp than #DoubleThink. I covered #DoubleThink first, because it is the driving force behind #DoubleSpeak. What the coercive controller thinks in their mind becomes apparent in their words and actions. We cannot see what the coercive controller is thinking, and so their #DoubleSpeak is confusing, but, if we can remember that they are operating from #DoubleThink, the things they say and do as a result, become less confusing.
What is #DoubleSpeak? #DoubleSpeak, in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model™, includes several tactics coercive controllers use to manipulate and deceive their targets. Perhaps you will recognize some of these from your own experiences. #DoubleSpeak includes the following:
1. Deliberately euphemistic, ambiguous, or obscure language: this is used to confuse and obscure the truth
2. Spin: "spin is a form of propaganda, achieved through knowingly providing a biased interpretation... to influence public opinion"
3. Gobbledygook: "language that is meaningless or is made unintelligible by excessive use of abstruse technical terms; nonsense"
4. Contradiction: "a combination of statements, ideas, or features of a situation that are opposed to one another"
5. Smoke-Screening: "something that hides the truth about someone's intentions"
6. Minimization: "the representation or estimation of something at less than its true value or importance"
#DoubleSpeak is used by coercive controllers to control conversations, outcomes and people. Being on the receiving end of #DoubleSpeak can, and often does, lead to cognitive dissonance (what I refer to in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model™ as #DoubleVision). Living with someone who uses #DoubleSpeak is like living 24/7 in a pharmaceutical commercial. The main theme of the ad includes beautiful images and music, with promises of "ending your depression" or "reducing your anxiety", but at the same time you hear (in a soothing, calm voice) that side effects include vomiting, migraine, and even death. Side effects are minimized and positive outcomes maximized.
Contradictory images, words and sounds create confusion, or cognitive dissonance, which our brains are compelled to resolve. Because these types of commercials put so much emphasis on making their drug appear to be the answer to all your problems (similar to love bombing or manipulative kindness), and they minimize the damaging effects, your brain is likely to resolve the conflict by choosing the positive messages and ignoring the negative ones. The reality is that there's no such thing as "side effects". There are only effects. And pharmaceutical companies want you to focus on their positive effects and forget or ignore their negative ones.
The same goes for coercive controllers. Confusion causes the target to perceive the coercive controller who is using #DoubleSpeak similarly. It is very painful to be in a constant state of confusion. So targets are often lulled into a false reality by #DoubleSpeak, a reality where the coercive controller is loving and helpful... a FALSE reality where their negative intentions (and coercive control tactics) are ignored, and the target convinces themselves that they are safe.
Again, the truth is that if a person is using #DoubleSpeak, they are hiding something. They are trying to control how you think and feel about them by leaving out critical information that would likely alter your opinion of them, potentially reducing your respect for them, and perhaps even causing you to avoid them altogether.
Warning signs of #DoubleSpeak:
1. Repetitive conversations with no resolution: If you are frustrated by trying to fix problems in your relationship where conversations go nowhere, it is likely that the other person is INTENTIONALLY using #DoubleSpeak to prevent resolution... probably because they don't want to own up to something they said or did.
2. Circular Logic: "A is true because B is true; B is true because A is true."
3. DARVO: DARVO can also be a type of #DoubleSpeak, where deception is used to shift the focus off the perpetrator and onto the target. "I did" such and such "because YOU made me".
4. Saying one thing and doing another: Also known as hypocrisy, this is a clear sign you are dealing with a coercive controller using #DoubleSpeak. Hypocrisy is also evident in #DoubleStandards, where the coercive controller demands things of the target that they themselves refuse to adhere to.
5. Gaslighting: Gaslighting can be very dangerous for the target. If someone is saying that things you know happened, didn't happen, or claiming things that were said weren't said, this is a particularly dangerous form of #DoubleSpeak that can literally drive you crazy if you aren't able to identify it and protect yourself.
As I alluded to earlier, the first 4 Doubles can cause severe damage to the target. The 5th Double of the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model™ is #DoubleVision. I will cover #DoubleVision in a future post.
Stay tuned...
