Debunking the Myth of Mutual Abuse In the complex world of interpersonal relationships, one unfounded myth continues to persist – the myth of mutual abuse. This notion, which proposes that both parties in a relationship engage in consistent, reciprocal abuse, is not only ill-defined but can also be dangerously misleading. Let’s delve into the reasons why this is a dangerous misconception and explore a more effective framework for understanding abusive dynamics: coercive control, utilizing The Quicksand Model®. The Myth of Mutual Abuse The myth of mutual abuse is often born out of misunderstandings about the nature of abusive and coercively controlling relationships. It suggests that both individuals involved are equally to blame for the violence or mistreatment, which can mask the power imbalances that frequently characterize abusive situations.

The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control serves as a vital framework for training programs aimed at educating individuals and organizations on how to recognize, intervene in, and prevent coercive control. These programs are tailored to support families, businesses, non-profits, communities, and various organizations in dismantling harmful patterns of coercive control. The ultimate goal is to replace these negative dynamics with policies and practices that uphold human dignity, autonomy, safety, and freedom. The D’s: An Arsenal of Coercive Control Tactics In the Quicksand Model®, the tactics of coercive control are encapsulated in what I affectionately call The D’s, which include Double Standards, Double Binds, Double Speak, Double Down, Double Cross, Double Team, Double Vision, and DARVO. Each of these tactics can be viewed as a weapon in

The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control is a groundbreaking training program  designed to make the often invisible tactics of coercive control visible and understandable. This model synthesizes 70 years of research and theory across various fields, including domestic abuse, human trafficking, cults, extremism, and trauma, to provide professionals with the tools needed to detect, intervene in, and prevent coercive control. Key Aspects of the Quicksand Model 1. Evidence-Based Synthesis The Quicksand Model® is an evidence-based model that integrates research from multiple disciplines, including neuroscience, psychology, sociology, and human rights. This comprehensive approach ensures that the model addresses the complex and multifaceted nature of coercive control. 2. Training for Professionals The model is designed to quickly train professionals to recognize and address coercive control, which is often

In response to the question “Could criminalizing coercive control further harm female victims?” the concise answer is a resounding yes. This concern is frequently voiced by global domestic violence organizations when survivors seek legislative changes to outlaw coercive control. While this apprehension is valid, it’s worth noting that from the 1970s onwards, as domestic violence laws began to take shape across the United States, we’ve often witnessed the unintended fallout of laws designed to safeguard victims. Various regulations, such as mandatory reporting and mandatory arrest laws, protective order procedures, supervised visitation and child support policies, among others, have been manipulated by coercive controllers. This manipulation allows them to inflict additional harm on their intended victims. This misuse extends to various other legal frameworks, policies, and procedural norms as well. In my view, the potential