TRANSFORMING SYSTEMS BY MAKING COERCIVE CONTROL VISIBLE
End Coercive Control Blog
The Strategies & Tactics of Coercive Control, Abuse of Power & Undue Influence
HOME OF THE QUICKSAND MODEL® of COERCIVE CONTROL
The PsychoSocial Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control & The Mirage
UPDATE: June 30, 2024 / The PsychoSocial Quicksand Model™ is still based on psychological, social and biological aspects of coercive control, but the name has now been shortened to The Quicksand Model™ The terms victim and target will be used interchangeably to indicate that victims are not to blame, and are most often directly targeted by coercive controllers. Coercive controllers use multiple tactics and strategies of coercive control to dominate their targets using the PsychoSocial Quicksand™. These strategies can be as straight-forward as physically forcing their target into submission, through physical violence, or as subtle and sophisticated as The Mirage™. The coercive controller’s strategic plan to dominate targeted victims using the PsychoSocial Quicksand™ of coercive control include strategic phases called The 5 Es. Don’t think of The 5
But he’s turning my children against me, why can’t I call it Parental Alienation Syndrome?
NOTE: This blog is written primarily for victimized mothers of coercive control. The statements within are not intended to imply that mothers are never abusive or coercively controlling, or that fathers are never victimized. Some are. However, the majority of coercive control within families is perpetrated by males against adult females and children, so this article focuses primarily on that evidence-based finding. Let me start by saying that you have the right and the freedom to call these behaviors whatever you choose to call them. The following are my thoughts on the usefulness of using certain terms within the family court system in the US… Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Alienation, and Alienation all refer to a theory created by Richard Gardner, who promoted victim blaming and pedophilia. (Read prior blogs
Coercive Control and Parental Alienation (Parental Alienation Syndrome) are NOT the same!
If you are a protective parent attempting to navigate the family court system in the US (or any other country), you have probably run into the problematic use of the terms Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Alienation and Alienation… all of which refer to the same phenomenon. (Read my prior blog on Parental Alienation here, if you are unfamiliar with these terms and their deceptive use by coercive controllers in family court). Parental Alienation “experts” have infiltrated the family court system in many countries, causing a hostile environment for protective parents, especially mothers, when attempting to prevent their children from being further coercively controlled by the child’s coercively controlling parent. Parental Alienation theory has been debunked by every credible organization, including the UN. It does not, and has not ever,
PTSD, CPTSD, PTSI, TSI & CTSI (Complex Traumatic Stress Injury)
A large majority of targeted victims of coercive control have, or will, develop symptoms of, or full-blown, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). In my opinion, based on the research I’ve reviewed and the clients I have worked with, if you are targeted by a coercive controller, unless you are able to effectively escape their PsychoSocial Quicksand™ early on, developing symptoms of PTSD is practically inevitable. And, if you already had significant trauma when you became entrapped by the coercive controller, your chances of developing full blown PTSD, or even CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) increase. NOTE: The Quicksand Model™ of Coercive Control terms all of the negative impacts to the target #DoubleVision. This includes all mental, emotional, physical, and psychological symptoms caused by the coercive controller. The fact that many
Coercive Control, DARVO & Parental Alienation Syndrome
As I have discussed before in previous blog posts, DARVO is perhaps the most effective and often used strategy of coercive controllers. And of the possible uses of DARVO, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) or Parental Alienation (PA) is arguably the most commonly used DARVO strategy of coercive controllers in family court. PAS is a theory created by Richard Gardner, a child psychiatrist, who developed the theory exclusively from his own work, and without any empirical evidence in 1985. He specifically created it for custody cases and used it often “on behalf of father’s accused of molesting their children”. This theory became widely touted by groups formed under the deceptive misnomer of “father’s rights”. What these groups are actually pushing are abuser’s rights. They want to obscure the fact that
#DoubleSpeak: Double Speak & Coercive Control
So far I have covered the first three of the 5 Doubles in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model of #Coercive Control, #DoubleStandards, #DoubleBinds and #DoubleThink. The fourth Double is #DoubleSpeak. #DoubleSpeak, thank goodness, is easier to grasp than #DoubleThink. I covered #DoubleThink first, because it is the driving force behind #DoubleSpeak. What the coercive controller thinks in their mind becomes apparent in their words and actions. We cannot see what the coercive controller is thinking, and so their #DoubleSpeak is confusing, but, if we can remember that they are operating from #DoubleThink, the things they say and do as a result, become less confusing. What is #DoubleSpeak? #DoubleSpeak, in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model™, includes several tactics coercive controllers use to manipulate and deceive their targets. Perhaps you will recognize some of these from your own experiences.
#DoubleVision: Double Vision & Coercive Control
So far I have covered the first four of the #5Doubles in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model of #Coercive Control, #DoubleStandards, #DoubleBinds, #DoubleThink and #DoubleSpeak. These four doubles, along with DARVO, improve ease of detection of coercive control tactics and strategies as well as help identify coercive controllers. The 5th Double of the PSQM™ is #DoubleVision. Double Vision is a sign that a person may be a victim/survivor of coercive control. While the other Ds in the PSQM™ reference the perpetrator, #DoubleVision is the catch-all for the signs of trauma a target/victim/survivor may display. Webster defines Double Vision as a disorder of vision in which two images of a single object are seen. Whereas #DoubleVision usually refers to two identical images, however, in the #PsychoSocialQuicksandModel, Double Vision refers to any and all trauma responses caused
#DoubleThink – Double Think & Coercive Control
So far I have covered the first two of the 5 Doubles in the #PsychoSocialQuicksand Model of #Coercive Control, #DoubleStandards and #DoubleBinds. The third Double is #DoubleThink. #DoubleThink is a bit harder to wrap your head around, probably because it is contradictory and confusing by its very nature. #DoubleThink is a type of conscious self-deception. The term #DoubleThink was coined by George Orwell in his novel Nineteen Eighty Four. Here’s a quote from the book. “To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to believe that democracy was impossible and that the Party was