Have you ever heard of a Jewish get? I hadn't until last week when attending an ICSA (International Cultic Studies Association) conference online. I was raised Christian, and I am well aware of the misogyny and patriarchal values that pervade the application of the Christian religion, especially within churches that lean toward fundamentalism. However, I was not aware that the Jewish faith has a tradition regarding divorce that essentially gives men the RIGHT to refuse wives a divorce.
The get "is a writ of Jewish divorce which terminates a Jewish marriage and enables the former husband and wife to remarry freely under Jewish law." In order for a Jewish woman to receive a religiously sanctioned divorce, she needs permission from her husband, in the form of a get. For abused women, I am sure you can anticipate the mountain of problems this tradition causes. Abusers, and coercive controllers are hell bent on maintaining control over their spouses. So, providing men with an incentive to maintain that control is abusive in and of itself. Religious traditions can be of great value to members. However, when those traditions inevitably lead to abuse and harm to innocent women and children, the priority must be for the individuals involved and NOT for the "sanctity" of the tradition.
In this article you can see that the Federation of Synagogues decision to refuse gets to women who file charges against their husbands is not only misogynistic, it is also an act of coercive control, by the Jewish leadership. The coercively controlling husbands may be the ones using the get against their wives, but it is the religious leaders who are allowing it to happen. This is not uncommon in religious organizations. Jimmy & Clara Hinton's podcast, The Speaking Out On Sex Abuse Podcast, details similar abuses within the Christian faith, and their most recent episodes (157 & 158) uncover abuse and abuse cover-ups commonly occurring within the Amish and Mennonite communities. The documentary "Spotlight", and the series "Scientology & The Aftermath", detail abuses within the Catholic religion and the Scientology cult. Both the Catholic church and Scientology not only ignored abuse within their organizations, they covered it up and they threatened those who tried to speak up about the abuse.
No religions, legitimate or cult-like, are immune from maintaining policies and traditions that side with abusers and coercive controllers. Coercive control can be found in nearly every organization, religion, cult, school and governmental body. We must abolish abusive policies and traditions, and replace them with transparency and equality for all.
Slavery was a tradition for a long time. That doesn't mean it was ever right. It's time we aligned our words with our actions, which will hopefully be the outcome of the Chief Rabbi's meeting to discuss this issue from the article above.
