As a survivor, researcher, and consultant in the field of coercive control, I've dedicated my career to understanding and combating the insidious tactics used by coercive controllers to manipulate and dominate others.
Today, we find ourselves facing a stark reality: the strategies of coercive control, as outlined in The Quicksand Model®, transcend personal relationships and infiltrate the very institutions meant to uphold our democratic values. The recent capitulation of Paul Weiss law firm and Columbia University to presidential threats serve as chilling case studies of how the F's of Force, Fraud, and Fear can erode the integrity of even our most respected institutions.
Let's examine these events through the lens of The Quicksand Model®, which provides a framework for understanding the dynamics of coercive control:
FORCE: In the case of Paul Weiss, we witnessed the raw power of executive authority being wielded as a weapon. The firm was faced with an executive order that threatened their very ability to operate, and made the firm vulnerable to predatory competitors.
Coercive controllers in the family use similar means of exposing targeted victims to predators within family courts, when they coerce and control unwitting (or predatory) professionals, like custody evaluators and guardians ad litem, to side with them and against their targeted victims.
This use of force manifested not through physical violence, but through the threat of legal and financial repercussions. The firm's agreement to dedicate $40 million in pro bono services and allegedly abandon their diversity, equity, and inclusion policies is a clear example of how force can be used to break down resistance and enforce submission.
FRAUD: The element of fraud in these cases is more subtle but equally pernicious. It manifests in the manipulation of facts and the creation of false narratives. For instance, the justification for these actions against Paul Weiss and Columbia University may have been presented under the guise of promoting fairness or protecting national interests. However, this framing obscures the true nature of these actions as attempts to control and suppress dissenting voices. This deception creates a sense of betrayal and confusion, further entrenching the coercive control.
FEAR: Perhaps the most potent tool in the arsenal of coercive controllers is fear. In the case of Columbia University, the threat of losing billions in federal funding created an environment of intense fear and uncertainty.
This fear led to sweeping changes in policies and practices, including "banning face masks on campus, empowering security officers to remove or arrest individuals, and taking control of the department that offers courses on the Middle East from its faculty."
The power of fear lies in its ability to create compliance even in the absence of direct threats. Other institutions, witnessing these consequences, may preemptively alter their behaviors to avoid similar repercussions, what is creating a "profound chilling effect," not just on universities, but any institution concerned with being placed in Trump's crosshairs.
A similar situation occurs with victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. Victims often hesitate to report their experiences due to a pervasive fear rooted in observing the public shaming and humiliation of those who have come forward before them. This fear of negative consequences, stemming from witnessing others' traumatic experiences with reporting, significantly contributes to the underreporting of sexual assaults and domestic violence.
The Quicksand Model® helps us understand how these elements of Force, Fraud, and Fear interact to create a coercive environment that can entrap even powerful institutions. Just as an individual might find themselves sinking deeper into coercive control quicksand in a "relationship," these institutions found themselves caught in the quicksand of coercive control, where every attempt to resist seemed to pull them in deeper.
What makes these situations particularly alarming is the scale at which they operate. When institutions of such stature capitulate to coercive control tactics and strategies, it sets a dangerous precedent that ripples throughout society. The coercive control strategies used against Paul Weiss and Columbia University are not isolated incidents but part of a broader pattern of coercive control that threatens the integrity of our institutions and, by extension, our democracy.
As advocates for ending coercive control, we must adapt our strategies to address these institutional-level threats. We need to:
- Empower institutions to recognize and resist coercive control tactics by providing them with training based on The Quicksand Model®, helping them identify and counter the F's of Force, Fraud, and Fear.
- Educate the public about the dangers of institutional betrayal through systemic coercive control, using The Quicksand Model® to illustrate how these dynamics affect their lives and society at large.
- Advocate for systemic changes and encourage institutional courage which can protect institutional independence and integrity, including legal safeguards against the weaponization of federal funding and executive power.
- Center the voices of those most affected by these power dynamics, ensuring that marginalized communities and perspectives are not further silenced by institutional capitulation.
The cases of Paul Weiss and Columbia University serve as stark reminders that coercive control is not just a personal issue but a societal one that threatens the very fabric of our democracy. By applying The Quicksand Model® to these institutional contexts, we can better understand the mechanisms of control and develop more effective strategies to combat them.
The path forward is challenging, but it's one we must walk together. By standing firm in our values, supporting one another, and tirelessly advocating for change, we can create a world where neither individuals nor institutions are trapped in the quicksand of coercive control. The health of our democracy depends on our ability to recognize, resist, and overcome these tactics of Force, Fraud, and Fear at every level of society.
#ActsOfResistance
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NOTE: Leaving a coercive controller can be very dangerous, so it's important to seek help before doing so. Numerous resources are available on ECCUSA's resource page to assist you.
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About the Author
Kate Amber, MSc, is dedicated to ending coercive control and promoting healthy relationships. Her work with End Coercive Control USA focuses on providing insights and support for those striving to create compassionate and respectful connections.
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The Quicksand Model™ Training Programs are available for schools, groups, religious organizations, non-profits, businesses, government etc.
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Nothing in this blog is intended to diagnose or treat. It is for informational purposes only.
