The weapons of Coercive Control

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By: Kate Amber, MSc

The Quicksand Model® of Coercive Control serves as a vital framework for training programs aimed at educating individuals and organizations on how to recognize, intervene in, and prevent coercive control. These programs are tailored to support families, businesses, non-profits, communities, and various organizations in dismantling harmful patterns of coercive control. The ultimate goal is to replace these negative dynamics with policies and practices that uphold human dignity, autonomy, safety, and freedom.

The D's: An Arsenal of Coercive Control Tactics

In the Quicksand Model®, the tactics of coercive control are encapsulated in what I affectionately call The D's, which include Double Standards, Double Binds, Double Speak, Double Down, Double Cross, Double Team, Double Vision, and DARVO. Each of these tactics can be viewed as a weapon in the coercive controller's arsenal, designed to undermine their target's sense of self and agency.

The Weapons of Coercive Control

Double Standards: This tactic involves applying different rules or principles to different groups, creating a sense of inequality. When wielded by a coercive controller, it weaponizes Inequality against the target.

Double Binds: A double bind places the victim in a no-win situation, where any choice leads to negative consequences. This tactic weaponizes Choice, leaving the target feeling trapped.

Double Speak: This refers to the use of ambiguous or euphemistic language to obscure the truth. In the context of coercive control, it weaponizes Communication, making it difficult for the target to discern reality. One especially harmful type of Double Speak is gaslighting. 

Double Team: Here, the coercive controller enlists others to turn against the target, creating a hostile environment. This tactic weaponizes Social Connection, amplifying the victim's isolation.

Double Cross: This involves a betrayal where the coercive controller says one thing but acts in opposition. It supercharges the weaponization of Betrayal, deepening the victim's confusion and pain.

Double DownWhen confronted, a coercive controller often doubles down on their lies, reinforcing their false narrative. This tactic weaponizes Repetition, making it harder for the target to challenge the controller's version of events.

Double Vision: This term describes the negative impact on the victim's perception and reality due to coercive control. It weaponizes the target's Humanity, distorting their self-image and sense of worth.

DARVO: Standing for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender, this strategy is commonly used by perpetrators to evade accountability and shift blame onto the victim. It weaponizes Himpathy, and women's Mental Health Impacts, manipulating societal sympathies to protect the abuser.

Conclusion

In my upcoming blog, I will delve deeper into these weapons of coercive control, exploring how they ensnare victims in the quicksand of manipulation and abuse. Stay tuned for a more detailed examination of each tactic and how we can work together to dismantle these harmful patterns.

About the Author

Kate Amber, MSc, is dedicated to ending coercive control and promoting healthy relationships. Her work with End Coercive Control USA focuses on providing insights and support for those striving to create compassionate and respectful connections.

The Quicksand Model™ Training Programs are available for schools, groups, religious organizations, non-profits, businesses, government etc.

Free Consultations: coercive control expert witness & coercive control consulting for survivors

Free Consultations: coercive control speaker, trainer, consultant or expert witness for organizations, companies & systems

Nothing in this blog is intended to diagnose or treat. It is for informational purposes only.

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